No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
