he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
