Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
