Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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