When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
