I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
