I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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