I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
