she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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