I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
