and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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