Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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