stop calling my apartment porn island.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
