Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
