It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
