It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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