She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
