pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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