She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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