I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
