that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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