this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
