Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
