I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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