Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
