I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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