New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
