a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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