Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
