oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
