he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
