nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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