walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
