I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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