Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
