one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
