I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
