Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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