It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Alive.
So much puke
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
