I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
