She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
