Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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