If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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