I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
