This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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