Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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