We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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