Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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