Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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