It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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