i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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